From a young age I feel like men and women are taught that their worth is determined by their level of education, how much money they make and how prestigious their job title is.
These things are all easy rank from highest to lowest which makes it easy to compare.
Checking all the boxes
I worked out pretty early on that people liked it and were impressed by these things so from the age of about 15 I started making choices around having the most impressive response from others. I picked the hardest technical subjects in school that I could do. 2 sciences (physics and chemistry), 2 mathematics subjects and English Language which was studying the format of English. It required no book reports or creative writing pieces. In the exams you were either right or wrong. I liked that.
I also took Drama. I just did that because it was fun.
When it came time to graduate from high school I chose to go to University. How else could I be a valuable member of society unless I was tertiary educated?
I picked a 5 year course that would give me two degrees. One in Robotics & Mechatronics Engineering and another in Computer Science & Software Engineering.
Man, I was set. I was going to have two degrees, a high paying job from that and a really impressive sounding job title. Everyone congratulated me on getting into the course, they were really impressed by the sound of it and I felt like they knew I was going places.
I was also fairly miserable, but I just thought that was part of the deal of being successful.
How much am I worth?
That was nearly 10 years ago. I quit my degree (that’s a story for another time), I became a personal trainer, I started my own business and I left job titles far behind.
Which has left me with a new problem: How much am I worth?
My old criteria only fits one way of living life:
- Get a good education
- Make lots of money
- Have an impressive sounding job title
What if those things aren’t as important anymore? What if those things aren’t what I want to be known as anymore?
Does that make me worthless?
With all of these unknowns it becomes hard to walk confidently into new business ventures or into new relationships. Because what if the other person works out that you are not worthy?
Finding your worth
For a long time I didn’t even realise this was an issue for me. I mistook it for a confidence problem.
Socialising left me feeling drained, I was afraid to charge too much money for what I was doing and in new friendships I found it difficult to go beyond basic conversation (which mind you, I am awesome at basic conversation ie. being charming).
I was getting frustrated in all aspects of my life and it’s still something I’m working on.
One thing that was really useful was a point of view my coach how to buy viagra from canada shared with me. I’m going to share a simplified version with you.
Take two babies. Two brand new babies, just born in the hospital.
Now tell me, which one is worth more?
You can’t can you? How do you decide which baby is worth more? They are both completely full of worth and worthy.
Now let me tell you this, nothing changes. From the day you are born you are completely full of worth. Every single day after that on this earth you stay completely full of worth. You never become more worthy. You never become less worthy.
Right now as you read this you are 100% worthy and completely full of worth.
You don’t need to change anything or be anyone.
So now that we know that, does that not give us the freedom to be whoever we want to be? The version of us that will give us the most fulfillment, more energy and the best quality of life.
Let’s go do that.