I first met Scott on a sunny day on the 11th of September, 2014 at Rock Hill, New York.
We were at an event called http://kylewood.me/tramadol-withdrawal-symptoms/, Scott was presenting and I was volunteering. I greeted Chelsea and Scott as they arrived and helped them get their bags out of the car.
I remember noticing how giddy they seemed to be there. As nervous and excited as any attendee was.
I had been familiar with Scott for some time having bought one of his first products on how to find your passion he created for viagra at walmart. He was actually on my mental list of ‘internet gods’ that I had wanted to meet while living in the US.
He treated me and everyone he spoke to like a friend from day one. Always with a big smile and with all of his attention. Corbett Barr viagra for recreational use when he said Scott made every person he talked to feel like the center of the universe.
Scott’s energy as he walked around camp was infectious. He was there to learn and connect as much as he was to teach others. He sat with us in workshops and hung out and played with us during the breaks (by played I mean, did handstands).
There was no elitism or excluding himself because he was one of the keynotes. He was humble and approachable. He was a real deal.
It wasn’t just Scott who was the real deal. Chelsea and I connected that weekend too. We had been tasked with leading the blue to victory in the colour wars. She was Scott’s partner in crime and she makes up for her small size with plenty of enthusiasm. We had fun creating chants for our team. She made an awesome team captain.
By the end of the weekend I felt like I had started two awesome new friendships.
Scott, my supporter
I enjoyed my emails with Scott over the next year. Soon after we met in New York he headed off on his lifelong dream to travel the world for 12 months.
A few months in I remember we talked about trying to stay productive while also travelling. We exchanged some tips that had worked for each other. He told me that they planned on ending the year in Australia. At that stage I didn’t realise I would be back living here then, but I told him I would fly back to show them around Melbourne and Victoria.
Later in the year I shared with him a new project I was working on, the project that would eventually become I Love You Man. It was poorly formed at the time but he told me to let him know how he could help. I asked if he would be back for World Domination Summit recording an episode. He said they were going to miss it this year. Italy was just too amazing.
It was around then I started working on the Vulnerable article. I knew I wanted Scott to be in it. He is the most genuine, authentic person I have ever met. He shares the good and the bad times. The mistakes and wins. And he kept showing up, he kept leaning in, he kept asking for help.
If there is a man who would be the real life Heartman, it was Scott Dinsmore.
So I emailed him. And I didn’t hear back right away but that made sense. They were busy travelling and I know how hard it is to do that and stay on top of email and continue to produce awesome content. So two weeks later I emailed him again just following up.
“Will get it to you soon man. What’s the deadline?” he shot back a week later. Coincidentally the same day two others on that list of vulnerable men wrote me back after waiting several weeks for their response too. I remember looking at the clock on my computer after getting the third email, it read 11:11 am. I remember it clearly because I rarely have moments like that.
A few days later he sent through his responses to my questions. ‘I actually started this email weeks ago’, he wrote, ‘Sorry for the delay!’
He was always eager to help, even when he was crazy busy. In this email he also told me that he and Chelsea were in training for Mt. Kilimanjaro.
I published the post on September 4th and sent him a note saying thanks and how much I appreciated his contribution. He wrote back to me September 6th:
“Honored to be a part of it Kyle! Excited to check it out too. Although Im on a flight to Tanzania right now using offline email and then going off the grid for Kilimanjaro so I’ll check it out as soon as I can. 🙂
Well done on putting this together. It’s indeed an important topic. I saw some nice notes on FB about it too.
I don’t know if he ended up seeing himself in that article.
One year later
On September 11, 2015, exactly one year after meeting Scott for the first time, I was flying over the Pacific with most of my worldly possessions. My 18 months of living abroad was coming to an end. A new chapter was beginning.
I was excited about the people who had told us they would come visit, including Scott and Chelsea, later that year.
Two days later I got the news. Zoe had handed me her phone showing me a post on Facebook. I frantically scrolled for more information. There was a Facebook group for more information. But the news had just broken and there wasn’t any info yet. I ran to my phone to try and find more information.
As I stood there Googling I mentally went to put on my grief armour, to hold strong through this moment. And then I realised I didn’t want to.
Scott was gone.
Scott who was kind and humble and giving and inspiring. Scott who had such an awesome message that he was going to spread to so many more people.
Scott who was my friend. Scott who was my cheerleader.
I cried onto Zoe’s shoulder. Sobs wracked my body. I felt a hole opening which I didn’t even realise Scott had been filling.
My initial reaction after hearing about Scott was to do something. I didn’t know what, but doing something would be better then just having to sit with these feelings. Eventually I just let go and let it be hard.
The next day I came up with a way I would like to honour him, and that is what I’m sharing with you now.
I would love to see Scott’s message continued to be spread so I wanted to make it really easy for everyone. I’ve spent the last few days watching some of Scott’s old videos and interviews and I’ve put together some of my favourite quotes. I remember Scott put together something similar when one of his heroes, Steve Jobs, passed away. I think he would think it was pretty cool to have the same done for him.
Read them. Live them. Share them.
On Showing Up
“The formula for being lucky comes down to one practice: SHOW UP”
“Adopt the expectation that the time you invest [showing up in the real world] will be worthwhile.”
“If you lean into possibility and embody what matters to you, the world will be in your corner.”
“The biggest risk isn’t that you’re going to try something and it’s not going to work out. The biggest risk is that you wake up a year from now, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years and wish you would have done things different.”
“The biggest risk is doing nothing.”
On His Mission
“I started to just be around [inspiring people] on a consistent basis and your thinking just transforms. It changed my thinking from, ‘how could I possibly do this?’ to ‘how could I possibly not?'”
“That’s really what I wanted to build, a community that shows people that it’s not crazy to think that you can do things a little bit differently. That you can actually pursue a path that’s enjoyable to you, that you’re good at and actually make an impact in a meaningful way.”
“If you do something that matters to you, it’s going to matter to the people around you. And that becomes contagious and that creates a ripple effect.”
“The path of the entrepreneur, or building something on your own, the swings, the emotional swings are nuts!”
“That word, because you’re supposed to, is just ingrained in my mind, that is the thing that triggers me. If you say that to me, I’m not even going to listen to what you have to say.”
“You are the CEO of your own life.”
“Your most important brand is you. Everything you do builds that brand in a positive or negative way.”
“Whenever someone tells me that they hate their job I say: ‘Well, have you ever read a book on how to change it? There are 1,000 at the bookstore.'”
“All the tools in the world don’t matter if the people around you say that your stupid for thinking differently. Say that your crazy for trying.”
“To live a good life I think it’s two; one is spend your time doing the things you enjoy with the people you enjoy and respect. The things that you’re good at and really care about and making some kind of an impact. An impact that you believe is moving the needle in some way. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean solving world hunger or something crazy and huge. But just to feel like things will be different because you will be intentional about things. I think that’s a very rewarding feeling. And you couple that with people who really make you smile to be around and you can’t go wrong. Because since you never get there, hopefully you stop worrying about it sometimes and just have some fun.”
“Being vulnerable means knowing who you are and having the courage to share it with the world. To show up, not as who you want to be or who you want people to think you are, but as you, and to be open and welcoming to however the world reacts to it. One of the coolest parts about doing that? When you’re you, it gives other people permission to be them. And that is one of the best gifts you could give.”
“I tell people what’s actually going on in my world, good and bad, instead of feeding them the standard “all is good” responses the world seems to train us to give. And I make a habit of routinely incorporating the same into my writing and work.”
From his TED talk
“I left [my job] with one intention, I wanted to find something to screw up.”
“I wanted to find the work I couldn’t not do.”
“We have to figure it [our values] out, we have to know what our soul is made of so that we don’t go selling it to some cause we don’t give a shit about.”
“People that haven’t spent the time working out what matters most to them, we keep reaching for something that doesn’t mean anything to us but we are doing it because everyone said we are supposed to.”
“If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’re never going to find it.”
“You prove people wrong, you prove yourself wrong, then you can make these little incremental pushes of what you believe is possible.”
“The fastest way to do things you don’t think can be done is to surround yourself with people already doing that.”
“There is no bigger life hack in the history of the world from getting where you are today to where you want to be then the people you choose to put in your corner. They change everything.”
“You don’t even need to change your goals or anything, you just need to change your surroundings.”
“These three pillars, they all have one thing in common. They are 100% in our control. No one can tell you you can’t learn about yourself. No one can tell you you can’t push your limits and learn your own impossible and push that. No one can tell you you can’t surround yourself with inspiring people or get away from the people that bring you down. You can’t control a recession, you can’t control getting fired or getting in a car accident. Most things are totally out of our hands. These three things are totally on us.”
“It’s about doing something that matters to you, and makes an impact that only you can make.”
“I imagine a world where 80% of the world love the work they do. I mean, what would that look like? What would the innovation be like? How would you treat the people around you? Things would start to change.”
“What is the work you can’t not do? Discover it. Live it. Not just for you but for everybody around you. Because that is what starts to change the world.”
Please steal these quotes and images and share them around or use them in your blog posts. No really, I insist.
Videos of Scott
The Biggest Risk
TEDx – How to find and do work you love
Scott on Good Life Project
I miss you so much Scott. I love you man.
The world is a little dimmer with you gone. But it’s a hell of a lot brighter for having had you here.
More on Scott:
- When an Internet Friend Dies | Ice To The Brim
Thank you Zoe for letting me use your photos.