plus, the newsletter has a new name
reader! You might notice that this newsletter has a new name. It was called The Dadlift, now it’s called Rhythm & Recognition. As I get clearer with what I want to write about on here, The Dadlift felt too personal to me and like there wasn’t any space for you, the reader. Rhythm & Recognition nicely sums up what I’d like to help people with, getting recognised for their gifts and delivering them to the world in a way that’s sustainable. Let’s dive into the first issue.
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A little over a month ago, I made the tough decision to take an intentional break from my business of 15 years, Bootcamp Ideas.
Today I want to share with you how, despite my worst fears about the whole thing crumbling, it’s been a truly helpful and nourishing experience.
But first, let’s start with why I’m doing this now:
I haven’t taken more than a week or so away from my business other than during those sleep deprived months right after my kids were born.
Looking back, I always thought of those times as breaks. But they weren’t really.
While there was plenty of walks to the cafe for latte’s and babycinos, there was also a lot of managing the household so my wife could rest. There wasn’t much in the way of sitting around and journaling going on because, as it should be, I was fully immersing myself in life with a newborn.
But other than those moments, I’ve never truly given myself permission to take a proper break from Bootcamp Ideas.
Charlie Gilkey loves to say ‘you can’t read the label from inside the jar’ and that was me. I was trying to make decisions from inside my glass walls. I need to take some time off to get proper perspective.
No space for error (or life)
This all came to a head recently. I’d had some breakthroughs in coaching and realised that I wanted to explore my own path as a coach again.
So, in classic Kyle fashion, I added to my life without taking anything away.
I was now trying to juggle two businesses. I’d mad panic work Monday and Tuesday to get all my Bootcamp Ideas stuff done, then spend Wednesday and Thursday trying to think of ways to find clients and work out exactly what kind of coaching I would like to do. (I spend Fridays with our youngest while Zoe works with clients.)
One sick kid or a busy weekend could throw the whole thing out. There was no space to let things flex as they need to when you have small children.
So I committed, and now I’m here, with you, to share how it went and then what’s next for this experiment?
(Speaking of experiments, thanks to the book Tiny Experiments by for reminding me that you don’t have to commit to things forever, you can just try stuff.)
Here’s what I learned
(You can read more about the experiment in my previous post.)
1. I was f*cking burned out
This really surprised me. I didn’t think I was burned out because I was still showing up. But the warning signs were there. I was drinking more coffee. I spent large chunks of last year sick and I never get sick (‘It’s just part of having little kids,’ I’d tell myself).
And now, I’ve spent so much of this month sleeping, and wanting to stay in bed in the morning. So unlike me. I’ve had baths, sometimes 3 times per week.
‘You do seem kind of aimless,’ Zoe said to me last week.
Without the constant pressure to be productive I found myself wanting to do… nothing. But not in a way that feels ‘lazy’, more just because that feels like the most productive thing needed right now. I’m going through a lot of change and uncertainty and the space to process it feels very nourishing.
2. Dancing with competence and excellence
Gay Hendricks’ book The Big Leap famously talks about how we want to operate from our Zone of Genius. These are the things that really only we can do. Below that zone is the Zone of Excellence and then the Zone of Competence.
In my work with Bootcamp Ideas I spend most of my time operating in my zone of Competence and then sometimes Excellence. I think at some point in the past, when there was a little more of a community vibe to Bootcamp Ideas’ I was probably in my Zone of Genius, but now I mostly go through the motions each week. Looking for ways to eke out as much meaning as possible.
3. I really want to coach more
If there is an area I feel like I’m in my Zone of Genius, it’s coaching. Especially coaching health and wellness entrepreneurs and creators.
I’ve dabbled in coaching before, but never really gave it enough momentum to build up some credibility. The lure of the easier, yet less fulfilling, work of my business would drag me back in.
This month really forced me to sit with this and to start changing the way I view myself. As a coach, not just a business owner. I was able to sign up my first ongoing coaching client and I really enjoy the work we’re doing together.
4. Too much focus on content
Before this break I was spending a LOT of my time an energy each week creating content.
But this was all Zone of Excellence/Competence stuff and it left me with very little energy to actually connect with people. So I would double down on my content to try to get it to create the connections I wanted and would end up feeling frustrated and bitter when it didn’t.
By cutting myself off from creating content I can see that my time would be much better spent creating spaces for connection to happen and investing time in existing relationships.
And this kind of leads me to my last point.
5. Where has my heart been?
My heart is not longer in building Bootcamp Ideas.
As hard as it is to admit it publicly, I’ve known this for a while. And having taken time off I can see that this has been the source of a lot of my issues.
It’s kind of like being in a relationship where you still like the person, but you don’t love them anymore. You keep doing things to try to rekindle it. You go to therapy to talk about it. You agonise over it a lot.
And to follow that relationship metaphor even further, it’s like instead of ending the relationship I stayed in it while waiting for someone else to come along. Which if this was a real relationship, that would be silly right?
Alas, when your business supports your family, it’s a little trickier.
(Although now I’m drawing all sorts of parallels with toxic relationships where money is involved.)
So, what’s next?
Yesterday, I opened up Kit and sent the first email to my audience that I’d sent them in over a month.
I wrote them to let them know that I’d be extending my 30-day hiatus for another 60 days.
Yes, this time has been so needed that I’m firmly, audaciously claiming more of it. I’m 37 as I write this, I’ve been running Bootcamp Ideas for 15 of those. That’s over 40% of my life!
I want to continue to pursue coaching as a career by using Human Design to help health and wellness entrepreneurs and creatives and I know that needs space and time to flourish.
I’ll be sure to update you all at the end of the full 90 days with any further insights I’ve had.
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Next week I’m running a workshop called Connection Marketing (thanks 2-Hour Workshop Blueprint by for making that easy), it’s for my Bootcamp Ideas audience but you are more than welcome too. It’s all about how you can find and connect with the people who need to hear your message. It’s a combo of smart marketing with some Human Design to help you market in a way that aligns with your strengths.
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I’ve also updated my 1:1 coaching page, so if you’re interested in working with me, have a look and get in touch.
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Lastly, thank you so much for being here. If anything about my 30-day break resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you!
