When you read through the self-help (now called personal development) section of the bookstore you see a lot of books talking about how to be a better person.
How to dress. How to be a better public speaker. How to be awesome at dating. How to make friends and influence people.
When you go to conferences or meet ups you hear people asking how did you achieve that success?
But we are missing something huge; the question of why? Why bother in the first place?
Some reasons why
There are a lot of knee jerk reactions to doing things. To make lots of money, to be famous, to be safe, to fix ourselves. Reasons that are usually rooted in some deep and possibly hidden belief about ourselves in the world.
Once we get past those (I say that like it’s simple, it’s not) we can start looking at some other reasons why it’s worth the time doing work on ourselves. Reasons like:
Most friendships are awkwardly built on one thing; gossip in the office, talking about girls, sports. Once the friendship is removed from the thing or vice versa the friendship quickly falls apart. Working on yourself to be your best self gives you the means to go deeper in your friendships, building strong bonds that can survive any change.
As you look after yourself you will start to notice a positive ripple flowing out from the positive changes in your life. You’ve probably met people like this, people who bring a calmness and quiet command into a room. In my life, I started working out around 8 years ago. Slowly, year after year another of my close friends has begun exercising and looking after himself more. You will become a beacon for those around you.
We all want to be happier right? And even though happiness is fleeting, we can certainly make choices in our life that will affect how often we are feeling happy or fulfilled. A lot of those choices involve taking care of yourself first.
Why have a why
It’s important to have some strong reasons why you are doing something for when the going gets tough. No one completes a marathon thinking ‘Oh, I’ll just give this a shot’. They have a strong reason why they want to cross the finish line.
On the other hand, a man who is just trying to be a better man so he can pick up women is probably going to lose motivation after the first or second rejection. There needs to be a deeper, more intrinsic why going on.
A Heartmen works on himself so he can live in a better world. Will you join us?